Social Media Addict

Dear globalcounselor,

I am desperate and need help in dealing with my husband’s obsession with the computer. He is addicted to social media. He spends lots of time on the computer. As soon as he comes home from work at the end of the day he turns on the computer and he sits there until past midnight. Many nights I go to bed alone because he is with the computer. I feel so alone. He tells me that I should be happy that he is home and not out on the street like some other men. That’s no consolation to me. When I voice my concerns he calls me a nag and it says that drives him to spend more time on FB.  I don’t know what to do. I am jealous of the time he spends with friends on FB and many of them are female friends.   I am at my wits end. Our children are grown and they have lives of their own. It’s just me and him at home all the time. What should I do?

Desperate

Your husband seems to be addicted to these social media. I think you have to find reasons for you to get out more often, suggest activities outside the home or invite friends over for dinner or coffee where he would have to be involved.  With your husband develop rules around social mean vis a vis family time.  If he is open to it, seek the advice of a counsellor. Sounds like your concerns have fallen on deaf ears. Could you find activities for yourself out of the home- go to the movies with your girlfriend, have girls’ night out – go for coffee and not be available to him as much. Nagging is not helping. However  If you are not available at home as much he might start wondering what’s going on and be willing to make room for you in his life again or begin a conversation about your concern.

Social media interfer with family time

Dear globalcounselor,
I am desperate and need help in dealing with my husband’s obsession with the computer. He is addicted to social media. He spends lots of time on the computer. As soon as he comes home from work at the end of the day he turns on the computer and he sits there until past midnight. Many nights I go to bed alone because he is with the computer. I feel so alone. He tells me that I should be happy that he is home and not out on the street like some other men. That’s no consolation to me. When I voice my concerns he calls me a nag and it says that drives him to spend more time on Face Book (FB). I don’t know what to do. I am jealous of the time he spends with friends on FB and many of them are female friends. I am at my wit’s end. Our children are grown and they have lives of their own. It’s just me and him at home all the time. What should I do?
Desperate

Dear Desperate,
Your husband seems to be addicted to these social media. I think you have to find reasons for you to get out more often, suggest activities outside the home or invite friends over for dinner or coffee where he would have to be involved. With your husband develop rules around social mean vis a vis family time. If he is open to it, seek the advice of a counsellor. Sounds like your concerns have fallen on deaf ears. Could you find activities for yourself out of the home – go to the movies with your girlfriend, have girls’ night out – go for coffee and not be available to him as much. Nagging is not helping. However If you are not available at home as much he might start wondering what’s going on and be willing to make room for you in his life again or begin a conversation about your concern.

Wife Abuse

Dear globalcounselor,

I am at the lowest point in my life. I live the life of a dog, my husband’s dog. We have been married for 26 years and he still beats me.  I am so ashamed. I feel so bad sometimes I feel like just disappearing from the face of the earth but my faith in God prevents me. I don’t want to burn in hell forever. My husand is a big shot and I have a good life materially. I can’t survive on my own. I have always been a stay at home wife. My husband never wanted me to work. I knew he loved me at first but after the first ten years the love died and he has never been the same. We go out together and I have to put on a brave face. I have to play the part of the happy, contented wife. I get through these event in a blur all packed up with anti depressants. I live on the stuff. Sometimes I think I am addicted but I am not sure. 

I have no children just one sister who is younger than me. We get along fine. When I try to share my problems with her she brushes it off by saying I have it too good. How can I tell my sister that I am an abused woman, that the brother-in-law she respects is just a plain old abuser. How can I get out of this nightmare globalcounselor.  Tell me what to do.

Desperate.

Dear Desperate:

You need to get out of that house immediately and find yourself a good lawyer and a counselor. It is unhealthy  to live in such an abusive situation. You also need to get yourself to the nearest AA program. You are addicted to antidepressants. You are not living my dear, you are merely existing. Tht’s not good enough for you. Take what is left of your life and live, even if you have to live in poverty, it will be 100 per cent better than living in  a gilded cage. There are laws in this country to protect women like you and after 26 years of marriage there must be a good chunk of change  coming to do  should you decide on a divorce.  A wife is entitled to 50 per cent of the family assets.  Do not put this off for another day, take charge of your life today and start living.  Good luck.