I am a 16-year-old high school girl and I feel fat and ugly. All my friends are slim and I am always the biggest in the group and I have tried all kinds of diets and yet I can’t lose weight. I feel very sad and alone most of the time because even though I am with my friends I still can’t stop thinking of my weight and how ugly I feel. My mom and dad keep telling me that I am beautiful and that I must learn to accept myself and I want to but how do I do that, can you help me please. I am tired of feeling so bad about myself.
fat and ugly,
Dear Fat and Ugly,
First of all your mom and dad are right. You have to accept yourself the way you are. You have to change the way you think about yourself, instead of seeing yourself as fat and ugly, how about fat and beautiful. When you change the way you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Think about this and practice this: every time you think of yourself as ugly, imagine that you are beautiful until you believe it. I am sure you are a beautiful person but caught up like the rest of the world with the media idea of that cookie-cutter beauty. The world is full of all kinds of people, with different sizes, shapes complexions etc. Accept that. Believe it. Now, if you feel you are overweight, then reduce the amount of food you eat, if you are eating a lot of sweets cut back on those unhealthy foods, eat whole foods, (fruits, vegetables, grains etc) walk or bike a few times a week or participate in school sports. Just don’t expect to lose weight overnight, be patient with yourself and once a day or so tell your self “even though I have to lose 10 pounds I still love and respect myself” Say it until you mean it. Eighty percent of your problems is the way you think about yourself, think yourself beautiful, think that you are committed to losing the weight you want to and accept that we are not all the same, we are unique and have unique body shape and sizes. Try to adopt a lifestyle that is longterm and not just to lose weight but to be a healthier person. I know what I am saying may not be what you want to hear but if you follow this advice you would be on your way to being a healthier and happier person. If this does not do it, speak to your school counsellor or get your folks to hook you up with a dietian to provide you with some nutritional counselling. We are what we think.