I am sick of the girls in my school

Dear globalcounselor,

I think my best friend at school is a prostitute and I don’t know what to do about it.  We are both 15 years old and very insecure about our sexuality.  My girlfriend is acting weird and allows boys to slap her bum, feel her breasts and all she does is giggle. I told her that’s sick and she should not let them disrespect her like that. My girlfriend said she like the attention she is getting from the boys because it makes her feel hot and high up on the social ladder. I couldn’t believe what she was saying,.  As we were talking one day a guy passed by us and called out to her ‘”hey whore who’s the bitch?”I told him I hope he was not referring to me because I would take him up to the Principal.  He went away saying “whatever”.  My friend was mad with me for reacting that way.  She said I was too uptight that I should relax and have fun. I told her I did not think that was fun and that I don’t think I want to hang out with her and her friends anymore.  I have not spoken to her in weeks and the funny thing is I don’t miss her but I know she’s hurting and  I feel sorry for her. Those boys just taking advantage of her weakness and need to be popular.  There is a little part of me that feels guilty.  I am fighting that because I don’t want to be disrespected by those loser guys she hangs out with.

Little guilt

 Dear little guilty,

You have done the right thing to protect yourself. You cannot help your friend, all you can do is to be there if she needs you to listen. She is going through the “complicated teen-age syndrome” which is like prostituting her body for  the attention of boys. Her desire to be popular is greater than her self-esteem and because her sense of self is none-existent, I think  she will do whatever it takes to be noticed by the boys and in the process lose her soul until she hits rock bottom when she will be forced to look at herself and see the mess she has made of it.

Unfortunately, your friend is among many young women who as the cliché says “have gone totally wild.”   These girls behave like animals and have no shame in the way they pander to men to have sex with them.  It’s totally disgusting. I am happy that some girls have their heads on and in control of themselves and feel that they deserve respect rather than be treated as a sexual doormat which is the way some boys treat women and girls these days. The standard needs to be raised and girls need to stand up and say enough is enough. Boys will take whatever latitude girls give them. You will find if you respect yourself they will show you respect.  Good on you, you go girl. Stick to your values principles and respect yourself.

I feel sad all of the time

Dear globalcounselor,

I know you can’t help me but I am going to tell you my story anyway.  I am a 15 year old girl. I live with my mom. My dad left when we were little. I have 10 year old brother. It was not my mom’s fault but sometimes I still blame her in my heart.  My dad used to slap her around and one time she called the police on him and he said that was it, any woman who going get the police involved in our private family matter is no woman for him.  When he left he told me that I could blame my mom for what happens.

My mom is good. She works two jobs but still we are poor. I feel sad for her, sad for myself and my brother.  Sometimes I start crying for no reason at all.  I am s ad because we are poor and I can’t get the things I want. I feel bad when I tell my friends they can’t come over to my house. I lie because I don’t want them to know how poor we are. I feel like a liar and a loser.  How can I feel better, what can I do?

Loser

Dear loser,

First of all being poor is no reason to be ashame. There are lots of people in the world who are poor.  Not because you are poor you cannot have a nice home.  It is love that makes the home nice, okay. All you have to do is to help your mother keep in clean and from what you are telling me she is working herself to the bones for you children. Show some respect and sympathy for your mom.

   Secondly, at your age, I understand how these things affect you but I will give you this piece of advice. Find a place you can volunteer, maybe a drop in centre for youths, a shelter for the homeless, or help new comers and refugees in the area.  Doing something for others might make you feel better about yourself and appreciate all that you have.

    If you still feel sad and cries all the time, I think you should talk to your mother or your school counselor because there may be more to it that meets the eye.   You have a right and a responsibility to be happy my child.

     Remember it’s no one making you unhappy but you. It is your thoughts that is making you unhappy. Flip the coin and change your thoughts, look for the bright side of your situation. Your mom is safe, she is no longer being abused and you are safe. You have a home and clothes and food and you go to school. You have a lot to the thankful for.