I have been married for five years and have dated my husband for another five years before that and everything was fine until we got married. I became a stay at home mom at my husband’s request because we had two children in two years. They are three years and two years old. I gave up my position as an Administrative Assistant. I am at home most of the time but have programs that I take my children to so that I could interact with adults. My husband is very loving and caring. When he comes home from his law practice even though he is tired he helps out around the house. Everything is fine if he is home on time but if he is a little late I am filled with suspicions. I suspect him of having a girlfriend, perhaps taking a beautiful client to dinner or something and when he gets home I would fish for information ad nauseum. Then when I push too hard he’d say “Are you alright?”and then I’d feel as if I am losing my mind. At some level I know I have nothing to worry about but this irrational fear takes over me and makes me so crazy. How can I tame my suspicions and be happy.
The mind can work wonders. All these stuff that’s going on in your head are just that, imagined realities. I don’t know how to help you to get that out of your head. You have to outgrow these suspicions. You have to become tired of making yourself sick. I can offer you what I heard Wayne Dyer said in a talk about Excuses be Gone. It has worked for me when I faced certain challenges – ask yourself is it true? Can you be 100% certain that what you are thinking is true? If you cannot be 100% certain that it is true or not true then you clearly have an option to believe one or the other. Choose the answer that would take you to a better place, a place of hope and happiness. You can choose to believe it is not true and live with that. The mind has a way of going to the worst case scenario and it is up to us or to you to control the thoughts that you act upon. I would also like to offer the suggestion to hire a babysitter or ask a friend to babysit and go out with your husband on a date. Do this at least twice a month. Enjoy yourself, refill your tank so that you have something more to offer your children. Being at home can be a lonesome thing and you may need intellectual stimulation. You’re fine. Your husband appears to have his heart in the right place. However if you continue in this fashion, you might push him where you do not want him to go. Good luck.