Tag Archives: prostitute

How can I divorce my parents

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 18 years old and I live in the most dysfunctional family ever and I want out. My mom is a prostitute and my dad is a pimp. They both drink a lot but I do not think they do drugs.  They provide a reasonable living. We have a home, an old car and we get to go to school but I am so ashamed on my folks that I never invite anyone to my home. I keep to myself all the time.  I am quiet in school and play dumb because I do not want the question about my folks to come up and don’t know what to say.  My grandma lives in another state and she does not speak to my mom and dad because she says they live the devil’s life.  She wanted me and my brother who is 16 to live with her but my parents refused.  They don’t see that their lifestyle is a problem, they argue that it puts food on the table and a roof over our heads and that we should be grateful.  I am depressed and sad a lot of times. Sometimes I worry for my mom and afraid that maybe one day she will not come home. I cry a lot. I can’t take this any more. I love my folks because they’re my folks but I do not want anything to do with them anymore.  I thank them for protecting us from abuse and tried in their own way to show us the right way to live in spite of what they do with their own lives. They don’t understand that what they do impact on us, their children. I feel so bad about my life. I want to live my life without them. How can I divorce them and just go on with my life.

Want-out

Dear wantout,

I have to agree with you, you live in a strange world.  You can divorce your parents legally but how do you divorce them from your heart. You’re 18 years old and old enough to live on your own.  You can move in with your grandmother until you save enough money to branch out on your own. It’s difficult  world out there without education and money but if you have the determination to work hard for what you want you can do it. To divorce your parents pyschologically would take months of counselling because it is not as easy as signing a piece of paper.  The bonds between parents and child go deep my child. Why not take the first step, get your own place or move in with your grandmother and give yourself time to reflect and think things over. Talk it out with your grandmother and supportive friends. Find a support group in your area and talk about your feelings. That will help.  Also do not forget to pray and ask for guidance.  Good luck.

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My Mother Is a Prostitute

Dear globalcounselor:

I am a 15 year old boy of Latinamerican heritage.  I go to a public school where there are lots of Latino children. The community is pretty close knit and many people know my mom. The problem is I am being teased at school by some mean guys who call my mom a whore and prostitute.  I get into a lot of fights and sometimes I feel I will kill somebody. I am afraid of my own anger. I don’t want bad things to happen to me. I don’t want to end up in jail. I have my dreams.

Globalcouselor, my mom has a lot of boyfriends. She is always bringing home a new man. I don’t know if she is a prostitute.  Ever since she and my dad broke up, it’s like she has gone wild. My dad never married her they lived together for more than 17 years as man and wife but my dad found another woman and married her within a year. I know my mom was hurt but that’s no reason for her to go wild. I love my mom but I am ashamed of what she is doing. I do not want to go to school. I am thinking of dropping out and make money so that I can help her cope with the financial burden. What can I do, what choices I have.

shamed

Dear shamed:

Sometimes when grown ups are hurt they revert to childhood behaviours. Sometimes they try to cover their hurt by trying to prove their worth. It seems as if she has been given a raw deal by your dad. His leaving her and then marrying another woman probably made her feel worthless and unattractive and so to prove she’s still got what it takes she jumps from one relationship to another without thinking.

Of course if you are being teased about your mom, you will be mad but walk away my son. Don’t stoop to the level of those boys who tease you. Take the high road and focus on your dreams.  Under no circumstance should you leave school. Stay in school. Talk to your mom, be honest with her and let her know what is going on maybe she will realize just how damaging her behaviour is to you and your future. Maybe she needs to seek counselling to help her cope with the loss of her partner.  What you can do is to ask your school counsellor to give you some information about community counselling services that are free and get some pamphlets and leave it where your mom can see it. That may give her the message you are trying to send her.  It is unfortunate that children sometimes have to pay the price for their parents irresponsible behaviour but our parents are human beings too and sometimes they get lost with their own personal problems, so lost that they cannot see the harm they are causing those they love the most. You have to forgive your mother for she is a hurting woman.