I am 18 years old and have a two year old son. I love him dearly but I cannot give him the life he deserves. I am on social assistance and trying to go back to school to study nursing. I think if I keep my son, I will not be able to achieve success because it will be too hard for me. I feel so confined all the time, taking care of him and not having any fun. Sometimes I cry a lot feeling pity for myself. My folks will not help me because my son was born out of wedlock and they say I have to learn my lesson. They do not want to have anything with me or their grandson. They said they are afraid to get close because he may be have ADD since I did a bit of drugs when I was pregnant. I wish I could undo all the bad things I did but I can’t and my son is beautiful and he should not pay for my wrong doings. I am thinking of putting him up for adoption so that he could have a good life. It is hard, I will miss him but I think it’s for the best. Do you think I am a horrible person, do you think I am making the right decision?
Torn up Inside
Dear Torn up Inside,
You are not a horrible person, you are not a bad person but you are a thinking responsible human being. You are trying to find the best way to resolve what you see as a bad situation. You want a better life but feels that with a child to raise by yourself this may not be possible. Giving up your son is a heroic thing to do. It is very difficult to raise a child as a single young person. It is also very emotionally difficult to give up a child. Once you give him up you will have to live with it for the rest of your life. Maybe it might make you feel better to ensure that the home that he goes into will be a loving one, and with a family who really wants a child to complete their home. There are so many women who cannot give birth but badly wants to be a mother. You can give this gifts but I would strongly advise you to seek some supportive counseling, talk this through before making the final decision. Giving a child a good home is the responsibility of a mother and you are trying to do that. That’s not a bad thing.