I am 18 and my boyfriend is 19. We have not been dating but had a one night affair that ended up with me being pregnant. It was one of those nights of careless sex. I was under the influence. Anyway since I found out I was pregnant I have cleaned up my act and am trying to be responsible since I am carrying life inside of me. My boyfriend says he is not ready to be a father and wants me to have an abortion. His father is also pressuring me saying it is for the best since we are both young and could have other children. He said we are not ready to be parents and we have our lives ahead of us and this baby can ruin all that. I agree with all that but I cannot bring myself to have an abortion. I have religious values and feel that I will be taking the life of my innocent child. I told them I would prefer to get the baby and give it up for adoption or to have the baby on my own and not bother with their family but that does not seem to wash. The father said that these kinds of deals have a way of coming back to bite people on their butts. I am so stressed. My parents said they would support whatever I want but they too think that having a child will change the course of my life. I know that I take responsibility for my action but I cannot, cannot abort this baby. Sometimes I pray that God will have a hand and make me have a spontaneous abortion but if that does not happen. Global counselor, what should I do that is best for me.
Not a Killer
Dear Not a Killer
Everything that the adults in your life tell you is true. Your life will change forever. You might not achieve what you want because of the responsibility of your child on the one hand or on the other hand you might surpass your expectations motivated by the responsibility of having to take care of another life. It is all how you choose to look at this issue. Whatever you do be true to your values.If abortion is not something you can live with then do not, don’t listen to the voices of others. You have to live with your decision. If your parents are going to support you then take that support and as for your boyfriend, you let him know that you expect him to support the child at some level. People have a way of changing the way they see things once a child comes into the world. Grandparents are suddenly willing to help out because who can resist an innocent child. I hear you are willing to make compromises just to keep your child alive. Well it’s your body and you have the final say about what happens to it. Having an abortion is a medical procedure, having a child is natural.