Tag Archives: suspicious

Suspicious mind

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 20 and my best girlfriend is also 20. We are both very attractive and love to be in the latest fashion. We are both thin and try to keep fit by going to the gym and yoga as much as we can.  My friend is dying to be a supermodel. I believe she can because she is tall and she is very beautiful with long straight blonde hair.  My friend also likes to eat and she has been putting on weight lately. Just a tiny bit because it is not noticeable to anyone but her because she buys her clothes skin-fitting that accounts for every once of skin she has.   She has been obsessed about the pound or so that she has gained and is exercising like crazy and watching what she puts in her mouth. 

We were at the Olive garden and we both ate a lot of those bread sticks.  In the middle of dinner my friend went to the washroom and because she stayed so long I went to see what she was up to and if something was wrong. I heard her upchucking in the toilet and I did not say anything I just left and went back to my seat. I did not want to embarrass her. A few days later, the same thing happened at Burger King.  She ate, left the table and when I followed her, I heard the same thing. Do you think I am making too much of this. I can see she has changed a bit, she is much more jumpy and does not seem comfortable. She is always holding her stomach.  What should I do.

Suspicious

Dear Suspicious,

Bulimia is a serious eating disorder.  I am not sure that your friend is bulimic just because she chose to bring up her food twice.  Give it some more time and if possible try to reassure her that she looks good.  Ask her if she is on a diet and then find a way to discuss healthy diets or suggest a dietician that can help her tailor her food choice to lose the weight she wants. The problem is, bulimia is not just about being over-weight and trying to lose a few pounds, it is in fact a mental illness that requires more intervention than a friend can provide. If you suspect this is what is going on you might want to tip-off her folks  and let them deal with the part of pushing her to seek medical attention or have a frank discussion with her but don’t push it you don’t want to lose your friend or her trust in you. When people are like that they need to count on their friends and they don’t need their friends to bug on them.

Here are some symptoms of Bulimia

  • Secretive eating (missing food)
  • Avoidance of restaurants, planned meals or social events if food is present
  • Self-disgust when too much has been eaten
  • Bathroom visits after meals
  • The use of diet pills
  • Rigid and harsh exercise regimes
  • Fear of being fat, regardless of weight
  • Bingeing that may alternate with fasting
  • Preoccupation / constant talk about food or weight
  • Vomiting and laxative use
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    Immigrant Lover

    Dear globalcounselor,

    I have been going out with a man from Trinidad for a few years. Every Christmas he always leaves me to hang out to dry in the frosty snow while he goes off to visit relatives in the tropical paradise of Trinidad in the West Indies. I think he is so selfish not to invite me along.  No matter how I cajole him to spend Christmas with me he sniggers and says his family would be very disappointed. I feel he has a woman down there and just stringing me along for the ride at his convenience.  He spends a month there whenever he goes.   Globalcounselor, I think I am wasting my time, I feel it in my heart. I think I just have to have the guts to cut the rope.  I am 39 years old and have been never married.

    Suspicious

    Dear suspicious,

    I think if you continue with this guy, you many never be married. You’ve answered your own question and I agree with you 100 per cent.  He is selfish and not thinking about you. Give him an ultimatum and if he can’t deliver walk away and put your energy into a relationship that’s going somewhere.