I was miserable in my marriage because I felt my husband and my children did not respect me. I was the door mat for all of them throughout my marriage. Well, I got up the courage and walked out of the home and found myself a little apartment. I am happy being on my own but I still feel the need to return to the home I shared with my husband and then we get into big disturbance. My children who live nearby come over and get involved and it is as if nothing has changed. Everytime I return to the house I realize why I left. I do not know why I go back. I don’t even care for him that much but like it is out of habit or something I go there and get all hurt and frustrated all over again. My husband was my best friend, my childhood sweetheart and my husband. He is the only man I ever knew so I walked away from my entire history and I don’t know if that is why I keep on going back. How can I find true closure and move on with my life.
At the best of time it is difficult to walk away from what you know to go to the unknown at the worst of times you second guess yourself, you long for companionship, familiarity, love and respect. Even though you know that you would not find it in your past. You may find it in your future but unless you look to the future and give it a chance, that too might slip away from you. So here’s the plan.
He honest with yourself – list all the good and bad about this relationship
Ask yourself why do you still allow yourself to be abused, what are you feeling when you go there? Optimism, comfortable, relief, guilty or less guilty, they need you – deal with those feelings – chances are it is all in your head. They are doing just fine and may just miss not having you like a ball to kick around.
Release any grudges you might have for your ex or your children. Bless them and wish them well. Sometimes a little prayer helps.
Find new friends and whenever you are tempted to go over to your old house call a friend and go out for coffee or invite them over. Develop a couple buddy friends who will support you through this period and you have to work on it. Your children and ex will respect you and appreciate what they have lost when you not longer allow yourself to be abused. They will be forced to look at you with new eyes but that won’t happen if you just lie down and let them do the same thing over and over again. You are worth the effort girlfriend, like Aretha say RESPECT.