I am 57 years old and have several chronic diseases.My mother is 89 years old and also struggles with many illnesses – name it she has it. She is not enjoying life, just existing in a care home. I go to see her everyday. I feel it is my duty. My heart breaks every time I leave. The sad thing is that she is conscious of everything and whenever I try to leave she holds me and says “don’t go”or “take me with you”. I always leave crying my eyes out. Why isn’t God putting my mother to rest. Is there a God at all?
I feel your frustration, your sadness and helplessness. But this is a question of values and faith. If you are a believer in some higher power or God, then you would see this as God’s will and there is a reason behind your mother’s apparent suffering. Maybe her life is a lesson to others, her life is teach others compassion and what it means to value a life. If you are not a believer, you might want to lobby the government to institute euthanasia. Like we do for our pets – put them down when life becomes too difficult for the pet owners or the pets, for convenience or love, those who see this as the end of the road for us will see euthanasia as a practical things. For those of the spirit, we did not give life therefore we must not take like and this is just the beginning of some other life. I hope this helps to focus your thoughts about your mother’s situation. By the way you can try praying, meditating and try to find something of value in your mother as she is, maybe that would help you to cope. You don’t have to go everyday. Are you going because of guilt, love or duty? You can use part of your visit or days when you cannot visit your mom to hand out with a girlfriend or do something fun for yourself. Do not become a martyr. That’s not good for you or your mother.