Answer me this question

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 57 years old and have several chronic diseases.My mother is 89 years old and also struggles with many illnesses – name it she has it. She is not enjoying life, just existing in a care home. I go to see her everyday. I feel it is my duty. My heart breaks every time I leave. The sad thing is that she is conscious of everything and whenever I try to leave she holds me and says “don’t go”or “take me with you”.  I always leave crying my eyes out. Why isn’t God putting my mother to rest.  Is there a God at all?

Curious

Dear Curious,’

I feel your frustration, your sadness and helplessness.  But this is a question of values and faith. If you are a believer in some higher power or God, then you would see this as God’s will and there is a reason behind your mother’s apparent suffering. Maybe her life is a lesson to others, her life is teach others compassion and what it means to value a life. If you are not a believer, you might want to lobby the government to institute  euthanasia. Like we do for our pets – put them down when life becomes too difficult for the pet owners or the pets, for convenience or love, those who see this as the end of the road for us will see euthanasia as a practical things.  For those of the spirit, we did not give life therefore we must not take like and this is just the beginning of some other life. I hope this helps to focus your thoughts about your mother’s situation. By the way you can try praying, meditating and try to find something of value in your mother as she is, maybe that would help you to cope. You don’t have to go everyday. Are you going because of guilt, love or duty?  You can use part of your visit or days when you cannot visit your mom to hand out with a girlfriend or do something fun for yourself. Do not become a martyr. That’s not good for you or your mother.

Crisis of faith

Dear globalcounselor,

I am an 18 year  old Black male. I still live at home with my parents. I am from the Caribbean and raised in Christian home that practices Evangelical brand of Christianity.  My father is a lay preacher and my sisters and I had to be in Church every Sunday as well attend ancillary services that happen during the week. 

Recently, I find that I have no interest in Church. I am bored with these preachers that scream at the congregation all the time as if they are Lord and master. I am not sure I still believe all the stuff they preach about. There are many of these people who are hypocrites.  I find that I am drawn more to other faiths such as Muslim, Buddhism and Baha’i.  I am investigating these scripts and am excited again by religion.

Crisis

Dear Crisis,

A philosopher once said that an unexamined life is not worth living. As a young man you are seeking to find your own truth and as you do you will be conflicted with what you were raised with against what you are discovering for yourself.  To be an effective person on the planet you must live your own truth and be truthful to yourself. Your parents have raised you with values that they hold dear but that does not mean that you have to live in the shadows of their parents forever.  A well functioning human being is expected to carve out his life for himself and to develop values that are true to who he is. What you are doing and experiencing is exciting. It means you are growing and maturing into your own man. Do not let guilty feelings rob you of this wonderful journey.