I work in advertising. My job is to find clients and get them to advertise in the newspaper I work for. I meet lots of business people, a lot of males in the course of my day. My current boyfriend knew what I did when we began dating. We’re six months into dating and now my job is the problem. He calls me all the time and wants to know what I am doing and with whom – name and everything. Sometimes I am in my car driving from one appointment to the next and he’d be phoning wanting to know where I was, at what corner and when I’d be home and this sort of ridiculousness. He is someone I care about and I found myself adjusting my behaviour to please him and then be mad with myself when I do not make enough sales. I work on Commission basis. I broke up with him a few times only to be persuaded by him to make up. Everytime he said he would change but it wouldn’t be long before he returns to his old ways. What can I do to help my boyfriend change his ways. He is not independently wealthy to keep me. I have to work to take care of my needs.
Dear help me,
Your boyfriend has trust issues. He is insecure in the relationship and feels that you might meet someone better than he is who would take you away from him. He does not have much self-confidence in himself and so he feels that by monitoring you, he can keep you in control. He feels he is doing this because he loves you but love does not know jealousy. When you love someone you trust them and you have to be prepared to let the person go if you should fall out of love. People who cannot handle break ups are the ones who are so desperate to hold on to what they’ve got so tightly that the squeeze all the life of the relationship.
Have a talk with him and find out what he is afraid of? Perhaps point him to some relationship counselling because if he continues the way he is going this relationship will not last. He will lose you. Ask your boyfriend to stop his suspicious ways and assure him that you are faithful and that you love him and what the consequence would be if he continues. Good luck.