Tag Archives: girlfriend

My girlfriend stinks

Dear globalcounselor,

I met a girl recently and I really like her and felt we could be an item for a while anyway but she has bad breath. It’s not like she is not brushing her teeth or anything like that, I don’t know why it smells so bad. Sometimes it’s like stale garlic, sometimes it is putrid and that turns me off completely. I can’t be comfortable near to her. I always have to carry chewing gum with me or mints to slip her one and then it will be fine for a whole. I am disgusted with this, not with her but with this awful stench and I am thinking of just slinking out of her life by not returning phone calls, not showing up for dates something to get her mad enough to leave. I  feel like a heel but there’s no way I can go out with this girl anymore.

Slinky.

Dear Slinky,

Bad breath can be a relationship breaker and there is no easy way to tell someone that their breath is bad.  Leaving is the easiest way out but what if you ask one of her good friends or someone she trusts to give her heads up about her breath. Bad breath could be a serious medical problem. By making her aware of it she might go to her doctor to see if there is something that could be done to help the situation.

I leave it up to you to do the right thing.

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Betrayal causes heartache

Dear global counselor,

I am tearing up with guilt because I betrayed my girlfriend. She has this cute boyfriend who really likes her and he thinks she’s so special. He always says nice things about her to me and my friends. He thinks she is so great. My boyfriend does the opposite, sometimes I think he doesn’t care about me. I am jealous of my girlfriend. I asked her boyfriend if he would think she is so special if I told him she had an abortion two years ago. He was stunned; he looked like a lost dog and I felt my stomach hurt.

I begged him not to tell my girlfriend, to keep it a secret. “Why are you doing this?” he asked me. I thought you guys were friends,” he added and walked away.

I feel like a rat. I feel so horrible inside I cannot begin to tell you how much I wish I had kept my mouth shut, how much I wished I was not so jealous of my best friend.Most of all I feel ashamed of myself and sad because I know I have lost some important people who were in my life.

Please help me

Rat

Dear Rat,

Jealous is said to be one of the deadly sins. You’ve said it yourself, you have betrayed a friend and most of all you’ve betrayed yourself – the good part of you. You’re a good person who gave in to your lower self.

There is nothing that is beyond repair although some repairs take longer than others. This one might be one of those.

Because your boyfriend does not pay you the compliments that your girlfriend boyfriend does that made you jealous.

You misplaced your anger from your boyfriend and placed it on your friend.

Perhaps you might want to rethink your relationship with this boyfriend of yours. If he is not meeting your needs, find someone who does.

Remember when you gossip about othersyou’re hurting yourself, you’re showing yourself to be someone who likes to gossip and thereby putting yourself down. Give in sometime and confess to your friend and ask for her forgiveness.

Three is a crowd

Dear globalcounselor,

I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years. He seems to like me and we get along fairly well. My problem is my boyfriend likes to tag his best friend along on our dates. His friend is always sharing my time with my boyfriend and my boyfriend gets upset when I tell him three is a crowd.  When I tell him I think he spends too much time with his boyfriend, he tells me that he knew him way before he knew me and until he gets a girlfriend, he does not feel right about leaving him out.  Last week I met with his boyfriend secretly and told him that I think he should say no the next time my boyfriend invites him out with us. I told him that it’s not that I do not like him but sometimes I want to be alone with my boyfriend.  I also told him (which was a mistake) that my boyfriend  felt sorry for him that’s why he invites him. He told my boyfriend what we talked about and said he did not want anyone to pity him (that’s what my boyfriend told me). My boyfriend was upset with me and said I was trying to come between him and his friend.  I told him (a mistake) that he would have to choose between having a girlfriend or a boyfriend.  It is a week and I still have not heard from him and he refuses to take my phone calls. How can I win him back?

Mistake

Dear mistake:

Why would you want to win back a person who does not want you? You deserve better, don’t you think so? I think you did the right this by putting your feelings on the line. Perhaps you should have dealt with your boyfriend instead of meeting secretly with his friend. You may have put your boyfriend in an embarrassing position and you made yourself out as manipulative person.  I can understand your frustration. Indeed three is a crowd. Your boyfriend must be an extremely kind person or there is something else going on. He is either afraid to be alone with you or had an unusual allegiance to his friend.  This is unusual behaviour.  Having an extra person around for some event is okay but all the time can be a bit much.  In either case, I think you had better move on. He is not serious about a relationship with you.

I’m tired of my argumentative girlfriend

Dear globalcounselor,

My girlfriend and I argue all thew time about nothing.  She likes to challenge whatever I say and I am not big enough to give in.  I give it right back to her and then she becomes angry and we stop speaking to each other for about a week before we feel normal again.  She likes to dis whatever I believe in and I cannot stand it. I am a university graduate and she is not and I  feel I know more than her about things intellectual but no she challenges my ideas with half-baked ideas and untruths.  I respect her limited knowledge and sometimes even  enjoy a little banter but every time, it’s tiring and I become bored. How could I get my girlfriend to shut the hell up and be more congenial. I am afraid if she does not change, I will have to leave her but I love her and want her in my life.

Bored stiff

Dear Bored stiff,

Seems like your girlfriend is an independent thinker and you can’t  handle that. There is more knowledge out there than book knowledge and maybe if you show some appreciation for her wisdom you might be able to carry on a civil conversation and enjoy some friendly fire. Otherwise all I can advise you is to just find a girl or woman who will agree to whatever you say and keep her mouth shut. This might not be the one for you.

I am tired of my lying girlfriend

Dear globalcounselor,

I don’t know what to do with my girlfriend except to ditch her. She lies faster than a horse trot. She lies about little things which makes me wonder what big things she is lying about? It drives me crazy. I cannot trust her.   A few days ago she  went to a movie with some friends and a mutual friend saw her. When we hooked up a few days later I asked her what she’s been up to? She said nothing, she’s been home doing her homework all the time. Just to see what she would say, I said I went to see a movie with my friend. I wanted to help her memory. She asked me what I went to see and never said that she also went to the movie.  I didn’t say anything. The other thing she lied about recently is that she never smoked pot. I know she smokes pot all the time. One of her girlfriends told me they smoked together. And it goes on and on with these little things. I am 17 and she is 16. I think I am ready to walk away because I am finding it hard to like her. I don’t like people who tell lies.

Walking away.

Dear Walking away,

You are both very young and have some growing up to do. A person who lies also is a cheat. You can either confront her with what you know and ask her directly why she feels she has to lie. Is it to make you think better of her, are you a judgemental person? a Mr. perfect that makes her feel inadequate?  Some people are pathological liars, they cannot help themselves.  It is like a mental illness.   Perhaps she needs help professionally. If you find you do not like her anymore, just move on.  Relationships at this age are not meant to last forever.  It is better you find someone you can have fun with  and grow into your manhood in a good way.

I close my ears to protect my lifestyle

Dear globalcounselor,

A few weeks ago my best friend told me that my husband was coming on to her.  She said if he is coming onto her, who is like a sister friend, that he must be cheating on her with other women.   She said it took a lot out of her to tell me because she knew what the risks were in telling me. She said the risk was that I would not believe her and the possible end of our friendship.  It’s exactly what happened. I told my friend that she is jealous of the relationship I have with my husband and that he met both of us the same time. If he were interested in her he would have gone after her instead of me.

Globalcounselor, I blasted my girlfriend to pieces. I told her she is not longer welcome in myh home and friends do not do that to each other. I cried the whole day after we had a falling out because deep, deep, down inside I know instinctually that what myt friend is saying is true.  I felt it a long time that my husband was cheating on me but when I look around at how settled my life is – we have everything, a beautiful home, two cars, two beautiful children, great friends.  Money is not a problem because my husband is a neuroscientist.  I have found phone numbers in his pockets, I have seen lipstick on his clothes and he goes away on weekends on trips with the “boys” which are all symptoms of a cheating spouse.  I had intended to look the other way to safeguard my life and my children.  If I should tell my girlfriend I believed her, then I would be compelled to do something about it.  I am so unhappy but it is difficult to let go. I know I should have a talk with my husband but I am afraid he will tell me that it’s over that he is no longer into me and family life,  I am thinking if I lie low he will come to his senses and change his ways.  What do you think I should do.

Afraid

Dear Afraid,

Sometimes the truth is difficult to hear. But you have said you are not happy.  Are you prepared to live an unhappy life in the hope that your cheating husband would change his ways?  What kind of life is that?  What are you teaching your children by that example?  I think first of all you pick up the phone and call your friend and apologize to her. A good girlfriend is worth a thousand times more than a cheating husband.  girlfriends are there to help you pick up the pieces when your life shatters.  Secondly, have a talk with your husband, tell the truth.  He is who he is and remaining quiet in the hope that he would come to his senses is foolish.  A snake is a snake my child.  A snake might camouflage  himself as a lizard but underneath he is still a snake.  Life is more than stuff and lifestyle. Life is about peace of mind, joy, happiness and contentment. Don’t be seduced by a fancy lifestyle at the expense of your self-worth.  Stand up for yourself.

An easy way to break up

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is 15 too. We have been together for five months and I am tired of the relationship. He wants to spend all his time with me and I hardly have time for my girlfriends. I feel I am missing out being with my girlfriend because I am left out of the loop. My best friend go out with a group of girlfriends and it’s only me and my boyfriend. Do you think I’m being weird wanting to be with my girlfriends more than with my boyfriend.  How do I break it off with him, I’m really not into him anymore. He is nice and all but I need to move on.

Moving on

Dear moving on,

It’s natural to get bored with your boyfriend. At 15 the world is before you and it will be a few more years before you are ready to settle down. When you are ready to settle down in a marriage or long term relationship then you get into serious relationship. These relationships at your age are not meant to last long and so they just fall apart and you’re not weird you’re just a normal teenager. Sooner or later your boyfriend might have been tired of you too. It is also natural for girlfriends to be more central in a healthy girl’s life. With your girlfriends you can share a lot, be yourself and gradually grow up to be a woman. Don’t worry about it. Your boyfriend will get over it, trust me on that one.