Category Archives: obsessive

Social Media Addict

Dear globalcounselor,

I am desperate and need help in dealing with my husband’s obsession with the computer. He is addicted to social media. He spends lots of time on the computer. As soon as he comes home from work at the end of the day he turns on the computer and he sits there until past midnight. Many nights I go to bed alone because he is with the computer. I feel so alone. He tells me that I should be happy that he is home and not out on the street like some other men. That’s no consolation to me. When I voice my concerns he calls me a nag and it says that drives him to spend more time on FB.  I don’t know what to do. I am jealous of the time he spends with friends on FB and many of them are female friends.   I am at my wits end. Our children are grown and they have lives of their own. It’s just me and him at home all the time. What should I do?


Your husband seems to be addicted to these social media. I think you have to find reasons for you to get out more often, suggest activities outside the home or invite friends over for dinner or coffee where he would have to be involved.  With your husband develop rules around social mean vis a vis family time.  If he is open to it, seek the advice of a counsellor. Sounds like your concerns have fallen on deaf ears. Could you find activities for yourself out of the home- go to the movies with your girlfriend, have girls’ night out – go for coffee and not be available to him as much. Nagging is not helping. However  If you are not available at home as much he might start wondering what’s going on and be willing to make room for you in his life again or begin a conversation about your concern.


Cross-cultural relationship

Dear globalcounselor,

I am an African Caribbean man and I have a white girlfriend. I dig her quite a bit. She’s cool but she is driving me up against a wall. She wants to hang with me all the time. She does not want me to spend time with my buddies. She phones or text me all the time when I am not around. She wants to always be in touch and when we are together she spends a lot of time questioning everything I did. Like I have to give her a blow by blow description of what I did. I got up went to have a bath, phoned my friend, stopped at a coffee shop, text my buddies and it goes on and on.  I encourage her to get with her girlfriend but she says that I am trying to get rid of her, I don’t love her.  At first I thought, hey this girl really digs me and I was feelin all good but now I just want to run away from her. She is becoming so bad I’m thinking of leaving the city just to get away from her. She’s stressing me with her obsessing. What can I do? The love tap is running dry by now.


Dear Crazy.

Whoa, your girlfriend has a problem man.  She sounds as if she does not have a life and you are her life. She needs help to get a sense of herself. She is strangling you in the throat and relationship like this can become terribly obsessive that leaves the party being obsessed about feeling trapped or caged.  It is not normal behaviour in any culture. Perhaps she has been hurt many times and is finding it hard to trust and needs to see you all the time to ensure you’re being faithful or she is one of those obsessive compulsive personalities, in any case you cannot live like that.  It will drive you crazy after a while and you might begin to wonder who is the crazy one  you that chicken or the egg first conundrum, so deal with it, get a handle on it and if you can’t she does not want to see professional help, leave when you can, leave now.