Category Archives: racist-girlfriend

Frustrated with racist girlfriend

I am a 20 year African Caribbean man. My girlfriend is a 20 year old Caucasian. We both attend University and love each other a lot but I feel my girlfriend is a racist and the more I think about it, the more I become disappointed and aware that this might not work out or may take too much work to get her to understand that she is a beneficiary of the white privilege. She argues with me that she is not privileged and came from a poor family and take exception to me saying she is privileged. She talks about reverse racism and Black folks doing exactly to white folks what were done to them and it does not make it right. She said we‘re trying to guilt trip people into buying into this white privilege BS. She calls it all propaganda. How can I educate this woman to get her to understand that white privilege is real? I am fed up with her and am ready to call it a day because of cultural or social impasse. She is wonderful and I don‘t think she is consciously a racist but her refusal to accept white privilege is like an alcoholic refusal to admit he or she is an alcoholic. Am I being judgemental here should I leave her in ignorance and continue our relationship?



Dear Frustrated:

Maybe this is something you have to leave for someone else to do. Your girlfriend appears to have a mind of her own and that’s okay.

It sometimes takes an alcoholic years to admit that their drinking is a problem.

Understanding white privilege is not an easy concept for white folks to get because the privilege blacks see in society white folks take for granted and their right. To them it appears neutral. It took Peggy McIntosh serious self-reflection to realize that her world was a lot different from that of the Blacks around her. It was a white woman who put a name and a framework around white privilege through examination of her own lives. If you and this woman should have children and through their experience she might come to understand that society favours white skin. Hopefully by then, things would have changed.