My boyfriend left me high and dry

Dear globalcounselor,

My common-law husband for the last six years left the day after Christmas and I have not heard from him since.  In the months leading up to Christmas, he told me that this year we should not spend beyond our means because of the uncertain economic times. He is terrified or debt, especially debt that he cannot afford to repay.  He did beg me not to use credit card that we should make gifts or give baking etc for gifts.  I promised that I won’t use credit cards. I bought a few gifts in October and November and everything was going fine until December when I realized that my family members were giving us great gifts. I felt I had to match what they were doing and went out on a limb again. My partner said if the bill is too high he will leave and never return.

On Christmas there were many gifts for him and his children, and my family under the tree. I did rack up way more than I had anticipated. My partner said nothing. We had a great Christmas together eating and drinking with family and friends at our home. He helped me to clean up after and we had a late night cap before going to bed.   When I got up on Boxing day there was a note on his side of the pillow “I’ll see you around baby, have a good life.  Sorry I am not able to give you the life you deserve. All the best in the New Year.”  He had taken all his clothing and important belongings. He did not take the gifts I bought for him or his children.

My heart dropped into my hand and I took it to wipe the flood of tears that poured from my eyes. I am so heart broken.  I don’t think I can face the future  without him. I love him so much. How can I win back his love, how can I get him back. I don’t even know where to look right now.


Dear heartbroken,

I am sorry to have such a bleak start to the New Year.  Obviously you did not listen to what your partner was saying or try to understand his fears of debt.  Keeping up appearances took precedence over your partner’s feelings and concerns. He did what he said he would do and now you have to suffer the consequences. I really do not know what to tell you right now except that I hope you have learned a valuable lesson of what is important to you and to your happiness. I hope he gives you another chance and I hope you will not make him regret that he did.


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