She wants to be a stay-at-home mom

Dear globalcounselor,

I gave birth to a lovely baby girl a year ago. My maternity is up and it’s time to return to work. I was fortunate to get a space in a daycare but the truth is I do not want to return to work. I want to stay at home and take care of my daughter. I want to teach her our values and to be there for her. I love her so much. I am paranoid about leaving her with strangers and not being able to protect her from predators and pedophiles.  My husband does not see it my way and insists that I go back to work so that we can pay the bills. We owe a lot of money and we’re not rich but I feel our daughter should come first. How can I convince my hubby to let me stay home for another year?

Paranoid

Dear Paranoid,

Breaking our bond from our newborn is harder on parents than for the child. However, while the thought of staying home for another year sounds great you also have to be practical. Can you really afford to do so? Who will pay the bill? Without paying your bills you can be without hearth and home then where will the baby be, how will that benefit the baby? I assume that you did a thorough research on the daycare and its staff where your child is going to be. You can also talk to parents who have their children there and listen to what they have to say. Talk to the staff and see if there are any red flags popping up anywhere. Most daycare workers are great with children, you do get the odd ones who pass scrutiny and go on to abuse children. Whether you go back to work or not should not be based on your emotional attachment only but on pragmatic reasons. Is your husband being unreasonable or pragmatic?  A child needs more than parental nurturing to survive. It needs food, clothing and shelter. If you can find a way to meet all the needs, pay your bills perhaps you can sit down with these figures and point them out to your husband on how you can make it work for the family.  That may be the only way you can convince him.

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