The problem is hate

Dear globalcounselor,

This is not easy for me to write and I do not know if there is an answer to my problem. It is a problem of hatred.  I do not like people who are different and every time I read in the papers that the white people will soon become minority in the US and even Canada, I feel so upset and ask myself, why are these white governments so foolish? They let everybody into our country. Some people are so black you can hardly see them and I feel a lot of fear and hatred.  Although I like Oprah, sort of, I wish she were white. I do not like to see these people succeed and take positions I feel rightly should be for the white people.  I am 20 and my folks raised me to see myself as better than the black and other minority  folks but when I look around and see how successful and smart some of these people are I get confused.  I don’t want to feel this way. I want to accept everyone but I don’t know how, can you help me unload this hatred and guilt. I am so confused.

Confused.

 

Dear confused:

The world has been taught that the White Folks are at the top of the human heap. Everyone can relate to what you are feeling even many black folks have a hard time liking themselves and each other because they do not like what they see. We’ve all been taught the same things. Now we know a lot of that teaching and education have been lies. You’ve recognized and there are talents and skills, beauty and goodness in everyone regardless of race, religion, class or nationality.

   Hate is a disease that can kill its host that is you. It feeds on everything you’ve got until you are twisted, bitter and full of pain.

   How do you learn to love?  If you are religious and you believe that there is a God you know that God loves everyone and God made everyone and if God loves everyone and God made everyone how God would feels that you hate one of His or Her creations? If you do not believe in God and you believe in yourself, trying looking at yourself as your best friend and ask yourself would you want your best friend to live in the hell you are living in? I am sure the answer would be no.  How do you turn hate to love? First of all I have to tell you that when you hate you hurt yourself, you stop yourself from enjoying life as it should be, and your heart is always heavy and miserable. Try putting yourself in a black person’s shoe, read some books about slavery and what Black people went through and still going through to live like any human being. Trying making friends with a Black person and get to know them better, maybe you can volunteer at a community organization where you might get to know people and you may find they are just like you.  No one is born with intrinsic superiority as a human being. We all have born with gifts. Some of us are born into wealthy families and so we get more opportunities to succeeded, others are born into poor families with nothing and their chances of going to the best schools and extra-curricula activities are less but they can still achieve if they work hard.

There are many poor white folks living in the ghettoes just like the blacks, Latinos and immigrants. These are circumstantial incidences in life and it can happen to anyone. It’s like a friend with disability once told me, she said in their world, they see the able bodies as “TAB” – temporary able bodies.  My dear child if you feel it is necessary, get some counseling to help you along the way. This is a serious illness.

 

Obama vs Clinton – the Choice is Yours

Dear global counselor:

I am an 18-year-old white university student in Pennsylvania and I have told my folks that I am supporting Barack Obama because I think he is the hope of America. He is the change that can make our country a better place. I don’t care about experience because I do not feel that it is important. How does one get experience? You have to give them a chance to do the job and it’s not like Mr. Obama does not have any experience. He has enough to be the president.

My folks are trying to force me to support Hilary Clinton. I have no problem with her but I do not think she will be able to bring the energy and excitement that Mr. Obama can. For a young person like me he is it. I think my parents’ objection to my choice is because of Mr. Obama’s race. They do not say it but I do not think they can stand the thought of a Black man running the United States of America. They still have that racist view that Blacks are not smart enough.  They keep saying Ms Clinton is experienced, she is bright and she has a good support in her husband, Bill Clinton, the former President.  I am frustrated with my folks and wish they could have a more open mind and see through their own discriminatory actions and beliefs.  How can I get my folks to change their minds?

Disappointed

 

Dear Disappointed

Voting is a highly personal and individual act. There is no rule that says all members of a family should vote en bloc. It’s different

Dear globalcounselor

My 18 year old daughter brought home a black boyfriend and while I can see my way to open my heart to his difference my husband is totally against it.  I love my daughter and I want her to be happy but what do I do?  I am caught in the middle.

I am not prejudice but we were raised in a certain way. There are no mixtures in our family and frankly, I am embarrased about this situation. What would my neighbours think?

Please give me your suggestion

Not racist

Dear Not racist,

It is difficult embracing difference but it is not your difference, it is your daughter’s choice.  Believe me when you get those cute biracial grandchildren you will forget that they are bi-racial.  All you would see is your grandchildren.

You can get your husband to understand that times have changed and if he does not want to lose his daughter he would respect her choice. Perhaps they may not even end up getting married but if you should show opposition to her choice she may be drawn closer to this man.  Try to look beyond his colour and race, is he a good person, is he capable of taking care of your daughter, does he show her respect. As Martin Luther King said, judge this man not by the colour of his skin but by the content of his character.  You may be surprised to discover what a gem this man is and how lucky your daughter is to have found him or if he is a no-good loser type, then do your darnest to end the relationship.  We are all God’s children man, let’s get along.