Teen Pregnancy

Dear globalcounselor,

I am am a 16 year old  White girl and am pregnant. I know I cannot afford to keep my baby and I do not want to have an abortion. I saw the film Juno and I think the film was sweet. It was awesome how Juno was mature about giving up the baby but I wonder if it is that easy in real life. I want to do the same thing. I want to find a family I like to have my baby but I am afraid. What if I change my mind and what if I keep the baby and then regret it when I cannot go out partying with my friends or treat the baby badly because I am mad at it for robbing me of my youth. I am confused.  I have not told my parents about my pregnancy yet. I am only two and a half-months pregnant. I know they’ll be disappointed. I know I made a mistake but I want my life and to finish my education. I don’t want to me a mother yet. Help me.

Helpme

Dear Helpme:

You are too young to be dealing with this alone. You must tell your parents and get them involved in making the best decision for you and the baby.  They may be disappointed at first but they’ll come around if they truly love and care for you.  Make sure you let them know what you would like to do.  Maybe they may have some suggestions but if you do not like their suggestions, it’s your child and you do what your heart says is the best for your child. Some parents opt to adopt their own grandchildren so that they do not have to leave the family and be raised by strangers. You have to think whether that is what you want for your child and whether it is a good thing.  These are serious choices for a 16 year old but they are choices affecting another’s life and require you to give the matter serious all the consideration possible. You may also, in addition to your parents seek out the help of a professional counsellor. Community based organizations exist in most cities and towns that offer free counselling to girls in your situation.

I saw the film Juno and while it is a sweet film, it is only a film. It is never that easy in real life so you can forget about using Juno as a model.  I think you are a smart, intelligent girl who is trying to do the right thing and you will.  My final advice to you is to put the interest of your child first. Any decision you have to make, ask yourself the question, am I doing this for my child or is it to please someone else.  Good luck. 

 

My supervisor is trying to fire me

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 19 years old and am pregnant with my first child out of wedlock. I have worked at this coffee shop in my town for 3 years and have done a great job.  I work hard, I am punctual and I  treat the customers well. I am well liked by the customers. I have had three  raises.  However when I found out I was pregnant, I was ashamed and tried to keep it secret until I was beginning to show. I told my boss that I was pregnant and he literally flipped out. He said he was disappointed in me and that I will not be able to serve anymore because he did not want his customers seeing me pregnant especially  due to the fact that I am not married.

I told him I don’t think he is being fare and that I do not think our customers would mind.  They do not know that I am not married. He said I could serve until “your bun in the oven”   gets bigger.    I told him, he is being hard on me, criticising everything I do and blaming everything on my pregnancy.  I am so stressed out that I feel I make some stupid mistakes.

 Last week I mixed up an order and my boss told me to go home and wait there until he calls me.  He has not called me yet but I received a letter with two weeks pay and he said to call him when I feel better in 10 months time.

I am so hurt and I feel so angry, it can’t be good for my baby. What can I do, how can I fight this man for being so  terrible to me. 

Terribly Upset,

Dear Terribly Upset

What happened to you is terrible.  You do have legal recourse Your employer has discriminated against you on the basis of your pregnancy and  perhaps because you are a single parent. The Human Rights Code protects workers against this type of discrimination. I urge you to find the nearest Equal Employment Opportuity Centre nearest to you or the office that handles human rights complaints and speak to a worker there.

There is something called accommodation under the human rights code and employers are asked to accommodate employees when they are pregnant not to fire them or make their lives into living hell .  You were clearly under a lot of stress because of your employer’s harsh judgement.   You were also a good worker  and received raises to prove it. The bad treatment happened after you told your employer so that is evidence. Hurry and talk to someone because there is a time limit to file for complaints.