My parents are hypocrites

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 20-year-old girl. I am muslim – a faithful practising one who believes in what this religious stands for. Unlike in Pakistan, I attend a mixed mosque. There are muslims from all over the world who I interact with and make friends with. I am in love with a beautiful soul from Ethiopia. We love each other very much and I was sure my parents would have been happy to hear that I have found someone to marry and who wants to marry me and start a family. I have been faced with more stumbling blocks than a Brahmin hindu girl who wants to marry a Dalit boy.  Both my parents are not in favour of this union even though my boyfriend has all the qualities of a good man – he is well-educated, respectful, honest, God-fearing and all that but he is also black. They are not saying it is because he is black, but because we are different and he is not the right person for me. I spoke to the Imam and he said to listen to my parents because they are wiser. What do I do? Should I give up the love of my life to please my racist parents and hypocrites because the religion clearly  forbid  this practice  Arabs before Islam used to look down upon others specially blacks. The Prophet repeatedly contrasted the believing Africans versus non-believing Arab nobles. Arab nobles.  What are my options here!!!

disappointed

Dear Disappointed,

Cultural habits are hard to break and if religion cannot change people’s hearts against racism and discrimination, I do not know what will.  If as you say this man is perfect, then his only imperfection appears to be the colour of his skin. I think you are of age, you can choose your path or you can convince your parents to warm up to your boyfriend. Ask your boyfriend to speak with your father to get to know what his concerns are while you work on your mother. Somewhere in these discussions the truth will come to light and if it is race then you can convincingly argue your case by quoting from the Koran.

 

Crisis of faith

Dear globalcounselor,

I am an 18 year  old Black male. I still live at home with my parents. I am from the Caribbean and raised in Christian home that practices Evangelical brand of Christianity.  My father is a lay preacher and my sisters and I had to be in Church every Sunday as well attend ancillary services that happen during the week. 

Recently, I find that I have no interest in Church. I am bored with these preachers that scream at the congregation all the time as if they are Lord and master. I am not sure I still believe all the stuff they preach about. There are many of these people who are hypocrites.  I find that I am drawn more to other faiths such as Muslim, Buddhism and Baha’i.  I am investigating these scripts and am excited again by religion.

Crisis

Dear Crisis,

A philosopher once said that an unexamined life is not worth living. As a young man you are seeking to find your own truth and as you do you will be conflicted with what you were raised with against what you are discovering for yourself.  To be an effective person on the planet you must live your own truth and be truthful to yourself. Your parents have raised you with values that they hold dear but that does not mean that you have to live in the shadows of their parents forever.  A well functioning human being is expected to carve out his life for himself and to develop values that are true to who he is. What you are doing and experiencing is exciting. It means you are growing and maturing into your own man. Do not let guilty feelings rob you of this wonderful journey.