My wife cannot cook

Dear globalcounselor,

I have a big problem. I have been married for about six months now and my wife has not cooked a single meal that I can say I enjoy. She is absolutely ignorant when it comes to mixing ingredients and coming from a home of superb cooks – my mother and sisters, I find I get a little irritable just thinking about mealtimes at home. I love my wife but shamefully I must admit that I am beginning to love her less because of her cooking. Don’t suggest that I eat out or send her to cooking school, I have tried that. I am tired of eating out I am bored of that. I love home cooking that’s why I got married in the first place. If things do not change quickly, I can’t see my marriage continuing, in as much as I love my wife. Eating is my most pleasurable activity. I love to eat good delicious food, home cooked. Nothing makes me happier. What can I do to save my marriage.

Hungry

Dear hungry,

Well this is a big problem but there is an easy solution if you want to save your marriage. Hire a cook and let him or her do the cooking, perhaps your wife will learn over time to cook herself. If you married your wife because you needed a maid, I can see how disappointed you’d be but if you married her for love, you will be patient and make cooking a family time where you too can help make the meals you love to eat. Good luck

I am tired of taking care of my sick husband

Dear globalcounselor,

I’ve been married to my husband for 18 years. Then he got sick with Multiple Sclerosis. My husband has been unfaithful to me twice with two younger women and both times I found out and because I like to keep up appearances I forgave him so that we could keep our marriage in tact. We have two teen age children and they’re always my number one reason for the compromises I have made. Now my husband is ill with this debilitating illness and I have to take care of him. He has gone downhill very rapidly and need a lot of help and I resent the fact that I have to give him so much of my time. I feel I am doing a lot and always feeling tired. I don’t think I love him anymore and frankly I feel bloody trapped. What would people say if I left him high and dry with his MS. I never told anyone what he did so everyone thinks we are the perfect couple.  My resentment is turning into anger and that’s affecting my mental health. What can I do? I don’t want to be here anymore.

Trapped.

Dear Trapped,

It’s time to let your guard down, come clean and stop keeping up appearances. It did not work for you in the past and it will not work for you now. You have to be honest. Are you resentful with your husband or his illness? You’re mad that he’s let you down again.

It is very difficult to divorce a sick man. People feel guilty about things like that and stay because of obligation, something they feel they must do because of human compassion. In your case, you have two children together. How will they feel if you left their dad to fend for himself? Can they live with him and help him or would he be willing to get private care or be committed to an institution.? These are tough choices but you have to find out the source of your discontentment. I think you might be just tired of taking care of your husband. Looking after a sick person is tiring and takes a lot out of us.  Are you eating properly, getting the required rest, do you have help for you to take some time for yourself, hang out with your girlfriends etc. You do not have to be a martyr. Take time for yourself, go away for a short vacation somewhere fun – this will help put things in perspective for you and give you a break. I think talking to a counsellor or social worker will be very helpful in assisting you to sort out your feelings. Let me know what you decide and we can talk again.

 

A little chuckle for you

I got this in my mailbox today – hope it does not offend anyone

Note Found on the Refrigerator One Morning :

My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending th e evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don’t be upset—-I shall be home before midnight.

 

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table :

 

My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.