An easy way to break up

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is 15 too. We have been together for five months and I am tired of the relationship. He wants to spend all his time with me and I hardly have time for my girlfriends. I feel I am missing out being with my girlfriend because I am left out of the loop. My best friend go out with a group of girlfriends and it’s only me and my boyfriend. Do you think I’m being weird wanting to be with my girlfriends more than with my boyfriend.  How do I break it off with him, I’m really not into him anymore. He is nice and all but I need to move on.

Moving on

Dear moving on,

It’s natural to get bored with your boyfriend. At 15 the world is before you and it will be a few more years before you are ready to settle down. When you are ready to settle down in a marriage or long term relationship then you get into serious relationship. These relationships at your age are not meant to last long and so they just fall apart and you’re not weird you’re just a normal teenager. Sooner or later your boyfriend might have been tired of you too. It is also natural for girlfriends to be more central in a healthy girl’s life. With your girlfriends you can share a lot, be yourself and gradually grow up to be a woman. Don’t worry about it. Your boyfriend will get over it, trust me on that one.

I love my friend but she’s making me mad

Dear globalcounselor,

My best girlfriend whom I love dearly is frustrating me with her constant desire to rescue me from my totally satisfying single life. Ever since my separation from my husband of 17 years three years ago she has been trying to hook me up with one male friend or the other. In the early days of my separation I kindly told her that I was not ready for a relationship that I was still healing from the betrayals of my marriage partner.  Last week she invited me out on a double date with this guy.  I should tell you my friend is married.  I was too upset to enjoy the evening because I feel my friend is not respecting my wishes.  How can I tell her firmly but kindly that I do not need her help in finding myself a partner. I can find one if I want, I choose not to at this time.  I know she means well and feels maybe sorry for me but I am happy.  I am finding myself for once and I am having the time of my life with my two dogs and my two cats. My pets are filling a void for me and helping me to understand myself a little better. I do not want to lose my friend but how can I get her off my case gently.

Get off my case

Dear Getoffmycase:

Your friend may mean well but she is upsetting you and feeling sorry for you unnecessarily. Thank your friend for her concern and her friendship but assure her that you still are not ready for a relationship, in spite of the fact that she might thing you are. Ask her to respect your wishes and that it is very important for you if your friendship should continue in the same way. Assure her that her friendship means a lot and that in itself is a great support for you. You can also tell her if and when you are ready for a relationship you will communicate that to her in no uncertain terms and will ask for her help if you so wish. Assure her that you are happy and contented in discovering yourself as a single woman.  Sometimes we are not clear enough and so the message becomes confused or mixed .  Be clear, be firm, be consistent and be kind. Good luck.