Tired of my hypocritical parents

Dear globalcounselor,

I am an 18 year old girl from East Indian background living in Canada, the multicultural capital of the world. My parents are good people but very hypocritical and I cannot stand them. They talk the good talk about multiculturalism. They want all the benefits but nothing more. They are as prejudiced as you get. I am in love with a boy from a different cultural background and they are dead set against it. They forbid me to see him again and say if I married him they would disown me. He is a good boy, he is training to be a dentist, he is brilliant, he is loving, he is thoughtful and capable of taking care of me but he is different and that is biggest fault.  When I confront them with their racism they say that I do not understand, our culture is different. I tell them I am a Canadian and that’s part of my culture and part of who I am. I want my family to be multicultural. I made up my since I was small that I was going to marry someone from a different race or ethnic background. Sometimes I feel I hate my folks for being so hypocritical.

Is there any saving grace in this or should I just detach myself from my folks.  I’m tired of the lies.

Tired

 

Dear Tired,

There’s always a saving grace with families. It’s hard for old folks to change but you’re young and you can and you can and it is good for young people to keep pushing the envelope because you are creating a new and different generation within the multicultural mosaic. There are no strong borders between people and I think that is good that you can transcend cultural hang ups and enjoy humanity. We after all belong to the one human culture, don’t we? You go ahead and live your life and your parents will follow. You are making your own choices and that’s the right thing to do. Don’t allow anyone, not even your parents to cheat you from your life. They may have give you life but have no right to take it away.

Torn between race and love

Dear globalcounsellor,

I am a torn black man. I am pro-black.  My life’s work is fighting against discrimination and racism. I love my black sisters and I think they are the most beautiful women in the world. I used to frown of my black brothers who chase after or marry white women. I am not racist but I thought that was a slap in my black sisters’ face.  Our women are strong with their own unique beauty that threatens other men. I used to think that the man who can tame a black women is truly a man because he has been tested.  My dilemma is that I am utterly and totally in love with a white girl. She is a beautiful blonde at that.  I am not that kind of guy who fall for TV image of what beauty is.  Sometimes I wonder if the good Lord is trying to teach me a lesson by making me fall in love with with a white girl. I am embarrassed and so conflicted as well as afraid. If I don’t act properly I am going to lose this woman who means everything to me.  How do I come out of the closet to my relatives and close friends without being seen as a hypocrite.

The girl is white but blacker in her ideas that some black women. She understands systemic racism and she is fighting against all forms of discrimination. This is her mission in life. She is smart, articulate, kind and very generous.

hypocrite?

Dear hypocrite:

It would be a shame if your pride stand in the way of your happiness. Falling in love is personal though some might argue that it is political. The heart is a borderless, raceless and expansive landscape. You’re at a cross-road of enlightenment. You can choose to return to the darkness of ignorance, racism, discrimination or enter the light of freedom of choice, freedom from racism and discrimination to judge a person by the content of their character as opposed to the colour of their skin or hair. It’s up to you to confirm that you are a hypocrite or to confirm that you are serious about fighting against the isms. Good luck.