Benazir Bhutto

Dear globalcounselor,

When I heard of the assassination of Mrs. Bhutto, my heart skipped a beat. I am from Pakistani background and this family has been at the heart of our political life for as long as I can remember.  Mrs. Bhutto’s dad was also a prime minister and he was charged with corruption and sentenced and was hanged. Another brother was also killed. Mrs. Bhutto was living a comfortable life in Dubai but she returned home as if she had to. Life is very peculiar. I cannot understand it but I think some people are born for certain things and a fate that they cannot escape. I am sure she knew that her life would be in jeopardy but she chose to return because she sees the Pakistani people as her people and could not sit comfortably in another country while her people suffer under the foolish men that are trying to run the country amok. I think perhaps she waited until her children were old enough and before finishing the job she came for.  This is the only interpretation that makes sense to me and make me feel a little better. Mrs. Bhutto does not know me, does not even know I exist but I hold her so close in my heart that her death is like the death of my own mother. Why is that?

Lost

Dear Lost,

I too was shaken by this woman’s assassination. You are right, some of us are called to walk a certain path and perhaps Mrs. Bhutto was or she had something to prove. Sometimes our own egos get the better of us.  I am not suggesting that it was her ego. I truly feel she was trying to finish her father’s work and she was quite prepared to give her life for that. She was a determined, strong leader with a feeling for the ordinary people it seems.  Feeling as sad and lost as you are is natural.  She was your leader and we do come to feel about our leaders as we do our parents and in a way they are because they work to make our lives better, they say they care what happens to us and so we look up to them. When they are taken so suddently it leaves us feeling lost.

Take time to grieve your loss, time will heal your sadness.

Stalking Girlfriend

Dear globalcounselor,

I had a girlfriend when I was in high school but after a couple years it seems like we did not have anything more in common so we broke up.  I realized she was not the girl for me. She is beautiful and all that but I could not see myself spending the rest of my life with her. So we broke up. I broke it off to be truthful but she insisted we remain friends. I said okay to soften the blow.  Shortly after she left and moved with her dad to another city.  But she kept calling me and wanting to keep up an active friendship. I realized she was only doing that to get back with me. I told her in no uncertain terms that I don’t have time because I have a heavy course load University and I’d be tied up with university for many years.

She moved back to the city and has been calling me every day. I wish she would stop calling me and go back to live with her dad. Why can’t she understand that it is over. She calls my mom and tries to be friends with my friends from university. I feel she is stalking me and I wonder if she is ever going to understand that it is over.  What can I do to get through to her.  This is getting to me and affecting my studies.  I don’t like to be rude to a girl but I’ve been mean to her a couple times then I end up apologizing.

Stifled

Dear Stifled,

Sounds like you have a girlfriend who does not take no for an answer.  She is a stalker alright. With stalkers you have to  be cruel to be kind. You have to stop communication with her.  Do not encourage her in any way shape or form. If you have to be rude then so be it.

     Sometimes it is a mental issue.  She is obsessed with having what she cannot have and will see getting you back as a challenge to herself.    Tell your mom not to have any contact with her as well as that may only encourage her and give her hope.

   You, however, should tell her in no uncertain terms that it’s over. Say “I do not love you and I do not wish to be friends or have any relationship with you. Please do not call me , nor email me nor contact me again”.  If this does not work you may have to consider getting a restraining order.