My girlfriend stinks

Dear globalcounselor,

I met a girl recently and I really like her and felt we could be an item for a while anyway but she has bad breath. It’s not like she is not brushing her teeth or anything like that, I don’t know why it smells so bad. Sometimes it’s like stale garlic, sometimes it is putrid and that turns me off completely. I can’t be comfortable near to her. I always have to carry chewing gum with me or mints to slip her one and then it will be fine for a whole. I am disgusted with this, not with her but with this awful stench and I am thinking of just slinking out of her life by not returning phone calls, not showing up for dates something to get her mad enough to leave. I  feel like a heel but there’s no way I can go out with this girl anymore.

Slinky.

Dear Slinky,

Bad breath can be a relationship breaker and there is no easy way to tell someone that their breath is bad.  Leaving is the easiest way out but what if you ask one of her good friends or someone she trusts to give her heads up about her breath. Bad breath could be a serious medical problem. By making her aware of it she might go to her doctor to see if there is something that could be done to help the situation.

I leave it up to you to do the right thing.

My boyfriend stinks

Dear globalcounselor,

My boyfriend does not like wearing deodorant and I am tired of smelling his stinky sweat. Everytime he lifts his arm to put it around my shoulders I want to puke.  I told him that he needs to wear deodorant and he said I want to turn him into a woman, that a man must have his scent. Could you believe that? He is a nice guy but his hygiene needs a lot to be desired. We’re both in our late 20′s.  I am wondering if he is operating with all his faculties because some people who are mentally ill do not take care of themselves and miss things like deodorant.  I’m thinking of calling it quits, for real.

Quits

Dear quits,

It is the logical thing to do. This is one of those areas in a relationship though it looks innocuous carries a lot of weight. How can you be intimate with someone you can’t stand to be near because of his hygiene.  Since you’re not into that “natural” state, move on to someone more civilized.  This will not work if he is not prepared to change. I don’t think there is anything mentally wrong with your boyfriend. He’s just macho and no one is going to tell him what to do.  He is the kind of guy that thinks a man must act and smell like a man.  Don’t waste your time on this one, move on.

Feels like crying all the time

Dear globalcounselor,

Two years ago my boyfriend left me for a more attractive younger woman two years ago and until now I cannot get my mojo back. I go to work come home sleep and cry, phone his number to listen to his voice on the answer machine.  I am sick of myself but I can’t forget the jerk. I keep on lovin in spite of all the stuff he put me through. He broke up with me on my birthday.  I can never forgive him for that but why can’t I ever hate this person who has hurt me so much, what’s wrong with me. My friends say I need to see a shrink or something.  I’m crying now as I write this letter.  How can I forget and regain my self and happiness. I”m tired of being drained by sadness.

Drained

Dear drained:

You sound as if you’re in deep mess. Two years are a little long to still be crying and I’m inclined to join the chorus of your friends and suggest that you talk to a counselor. There might be more to your sadness that the jerk you think you’re crying for and unless that comes to the surface you will continue to be troubled.  This sounds like somone who do not deserve this much of your time. Sometimes you just have to make a decision to stop crying and start living but there are times this is impossible because of underlying medical issues so I would urge you to see out professional help and you will take the first step to feeling better. 

Divorce sucks

Dear globalcounselor,

I am single again after being married to the love of my life for more than 15 years. I am 41 years old now. My divorce became final three months ago putting the last nail in the coffin of my dream of  getting back together with my husband.  For him it is over. He is just not into me anymore and I do not know why.   He said he just fell out of love and that it is nothing I did.  I don’t know how to go on because my identity came from being a wife and a mother. We have two teenage children. I  do not feel like getting out of bed most days. I cry a lot and is struggling to find reason or joy in living. My children are mad at me for being so miserable all of the time. I want to feel better. I wretch inside just thinking of MY husband with another woman. He belongs to me. We made a sacred vow. Doesn’t promises count for anything anymore?  Please help me.

Bitter

Dear Bitter,

Breaking up is always hard to do but it happens.  Sometimes we do not get everything we want and that’s life. You cannot control your ex’s feelings but you can conntrol your own. If you need help,  find a good counsellor and work your way back to health.  You will be stronger if you allow yourself  and make the decision to get better.  Would you want to be with someone who does not find you attractive or do not love you anymore?  I cannot think of a greater hell.  You have to realize that your husband’s defection is not a reflection of you but of the kind of person he is.  Maybe he is a great guy but not just into you right now.  You have to accept that and move on.  The quicker you get  yourself together, the quicker you will meet the person who thinks you are the best thing that happened to him or her.

An easy way to break up

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is 15 too. We have been together for five months and I am tired of the relationship. He wants to spend all his time with me and I hardly have time for my girlfriends. I feel I am missing out being with my girlfriend because I am left out of the loop. My best friend go out with a group of girlfriends and it’s only me and my boyfriend. Do you think I’m being weird wanting to be with my girlfriends more than with my boyfriend.  How do I break it off with him, I’m really not into him anymore. He is nice and all but I need to move on.

Moving on

Dear moving on,

It’s natural to get bored with your boyfriend. At 15 the world is before you and it will be a few more years before you are ready to settle down. When you are ready to settle down in a marriage or long term relationship then you get into serious relationship. These relationships at your age are not meant to last long and so they just fall apart and you’re not weird you’re just a normal teenager. Sooner or later your boyfriend might have been tired of you too. It is also natural for girlfriends to be more central in a healthy girl’s life. With your girlfriends you can share a lot, be yourself and gradually grow up to be a woman. Don’t worry about it. Your boyfriend will get over it, trust me on that one.