My boyfriend grosses me out

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 18 and my boyfriend is 19.  I love my boyfriend very much but he has this bad habit of spitting. He clears his throat very loudly and spit anywhere and everywhere without regard for people around.  One time we were with some friends and he harked and spat in front of my friend.  She said eeewe.  I felt embarrassed and when I spoke to him he said I was making a big fuss about nothing. He said that’s how guys behave.  I don’t think so. I’ve seen other boys who are so polite and sophisticated. I think I will have to leave my boyfriend if he continues that way.  How can I get my boyfriend to change his gross ways and be more considerate.

Grossed out.

Dear grossed out,

You have to tell him in no uncertain terms that you’re gross out when he harks and spit all over the place and that behaviour is not hygienic as well. That’s how disease spreads. I think it is common decency for a person to spit in a place where no one will step in it or have to watch it.  If he continues after you express how you feel then he does not respect you and it’s time to move on. You do not have to put up with such uncouth behaviour.  You cannot make him change; he has to want to change. If he loves and wants to keep you in his life, that will be motivation enough to make him change.  Remember suffering in a relationship is optional. You’re young and have your life in front of you, don’t settle for garbage.

An easy way to break up

Dear globalcounselor,

I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is 15 too. We have been together for five months and I am tired of the relationship. He wants to spend all his time with me and I hardly have time for my girlfriends. I feel I am missing out being with my girlfriend because I am left out of the loop. My best friend go out with a group of girlfriends and it’s only me and my boyfriend. Do you think I’m being weird wanting to be with my girlfriends more than with my boyfriend.  How do I break it off with him, I’m really not into him anymore. He is nice and all but I need to move on.

Moving on

Dear moving on,

It’s natural to get bored with your boyfriend. At 15 the world is before you and it will be a few more years before you are ready to settle down. When you are ready to settle down in a marriage or long term relationship then you get into serious relationship. These relationships at your age are not meant to last long and so they just fall apart and you’re not weird you’re just a normal teenager. Sooner or later your boyfriend might have been tired of you too. It is also natural for girlfriends to be more central in a healthy girl’s life. With your girlfriends you can share a lot, be yourself and gradually grow up to be a woman. Don’t worry about it. Your boyfriend will get over it, trust me on that one.