Dear globaleyes,
I am a single parent who is an immigrant to this country. I have given my life for my children. My marriage ended when my children were all under 10 years old and I worked two job and rarely spent time with my children. My ex did not want to support me and the children and he put me through hell during our marriage and after. I am now torn up with guilt. I feel like a failed mother and wife sometimes especially when my sons speak to me in a rude fashion. It brought back all that I went through with their dad. Two days ago, I asked my son, 33, to help with a task at home and he said to me that he was frustrated with me always having to help me do this or that and that he felt as if he were my servant. These words hurt me to my heart. I cried the whole evening unable to stop myself. Then I thought to myself what was the purpose of living if my children whom I dedicated my life to treated me as if I did not matter. Yes, I contemplated suicide. I became frightened and called a crisis line and we chatted for a while and I felt better. The counsellor told me to make an appointment to see a psychiatrist. I felt insulted and as if I was a mental case. Do you think my condition needs a psychiatrist? Please give me your thoughts.
Suicidal
Dear suicidal,
First of all what is your life? Is it catering to your children? You have to get a life of your own . It seems that you are still dedicating your life to your children even though it appears they have grown up. This is not the way it is. There is a time to loosen the hold and dependency on your children for your social life. They are in a different space and can feel strangled by your constant needs and wants of them. It is not that they do not love you but they want to feel independent. To answer your question directly, I think it would be a good idea to speak to a psychiatrist at first and later on find a counsellor to follow-up and have a relationship with. To have contemplated suicide is a cry for help and you’ve got to help yourself. Please get the help you need before you face another stressful encounter with your children.
