Dear Globalcounselor,
I am sick and tired of feeling this jealous rage whenever I see my girlfriend talking to another man even if as she tells me they are only friends or colleagues, I feel as if that other man is seeing her the way I see her as beautiful, desirable and attractive. I am in a constant state of insecurity waiting for her to say that it is over. Because of my fear I keep tab on her movements calling her on the cell phone at home and at work, always interrogating her about her day, what she’s done whom she saw in a matter of fact way, pretending that I care about her day when all I care about is to see if she spoke or saw a man. My girlfriend has confronted me many times accusing me of not trusting her and what’s the point of the relationship. I tell her I trust her completely and that I am insanely in love with her. I buy her lots of cool gifts which she appreciates. I do things other men do not do all in the hope that she would not find anyone quite like me. This is exhausting and I am tired but can’t help myself. What can I do to trust my girlfriend, I do love her and hope one day we can be married. We have been dating for about three years.
Sicko
Dear Sicko,
You do appear to have a problem. You have a serious problem of insecurity and you have to get to the bottom of why you have such a fear of losing something you can never own. Did you lose someone in your childhood e.g. your mother or father, are your parents separated. Sometimes anxieties from our childhood show up in our adult lives and unless we examine these issues they’d continue to haunt us and wreck our lives. I would suggest you seek some professional counselling to help you unpack some of these behaviours or you risk losing the woman you love and losing yourself in the process. You cannot watch your girlfriend 24-7, you will drive yourself crazy. Find peace and happiness by getting the help you need. Good luck.
