I met someone online

Dear globalcounselor,

I recently met someone through the internet.  I have told none of my friends. I’m a little shy about the way we met. I know many people do it, but it’s so planned that I feel people will think that I am desperate.  I am not desperate but I am tired of being on my own.  I just need a bit of companionship, someone to go to the movies with, or a little dance or something like that.  I am 55 and the man I met is a few years younger than be but it is not obvious.  He seems like a very nice person. We have been out on four dates all in public places during the day or early evening. I am a bit nervous after hearing some of the horror stories about on-line dating.  What advice can you give me on when to take this relationship  to the next level e.g. inviting him home to my place.  He has not invited me to his place either. Maybe we are both cautious people.

Unsure

Dear Unsure,

You are doing the right thing – take this nice and slow. If he is for real he’ll be patient with you.  I am surprised he has not invited you to his home. Does he have a home or is he living under a bridge (lol)?  When you are comfortable you will open up yourself more to him. In the meantime, ask questions during conversation e.g. if he talks about his job, check it out to make sure it is true. Ask about his family and close friends – these are areas.  The fact is most people are honest but the few bad ones makes it hard for us to trust.  Follow your instinct.