My husband has become a control freak

Dear globalcounselor,

Last year I had a stroke. As a result of my stroke I have lost some of my long term memory.  My husband is a health nut and someone I think he blames me for being sick. He keeps telling me that I have to eat properly, eat more vegetables and take better care of myself.  We are immigrants from China and have no relatives here. Our children have grown up and are about to leave home to find their own way in life. I believe that my husband is afraid that something will happen to me and that he will be alone.   He would not admit to that but I am getting sick and tired of his controlling behaviour. I am seriously thinking of leaving him because I cannot live this way. I cannot be told everytime what to do and how to take care of myself.  Last evening I was coughing a bit, my husband was upset with me. he tells me I should drink plenty of water. I get so angry with him. How can I get my husband to understand that he is driving a wedge between us and one day he will push me too far.

Tired

Dear tired,

Your husband is obviously trying to project his fears upon you and to use it to control you as if by doing that he can control your destiny.   Tell your husband that he has his own life to worry about and while you appreciate his concern, his constant hovering over you is driving you nuts and if he does not stop this behaviour you will have to leave the marital home.  Help him to understand that you care about your life and you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.