My sister in law is driving me crazy

Dear globalcounselor,

I am married to a twin. He has a twin sister and she has always been the dominant part of the twins. I hear stories of when they were little she was his protector. I know twins have a special bond and all but my sister in law wants to push her brother around and wants to push me too and I am mad. I go along with some of her antics because I do not want to upset my husband. He believes and trusts his sister implicitly. If  we decided to buy something and his sister has a different opinion, it does not matter what I feel he leans towards his sister’s choice and that makes me mad.   What can I do to live with this woman who is so I do not offend my husband. She is okay if she does not meddle as much. I am totally fed up.

Fed up

Dear fed up,

It’s true they say twins have a strong bond but not in every case. I think your husband has to learn that he is no longer that boy his sister protected but is now a man and while you may not be able to control what his sister says, you can control what you do as the woman of the house.  Let your husband know in no uncertain terms that you are a couple and that decisions that are made must be made by the two of you. Set down some ground rules and stick to it. If you keep going along with his sister’s suggestion, how will he know that you are deeply offended. Sometimes we have to spell things out and not assume that another person is reading your body language correctly.  If necessary have a talk with your sister in law, tell her you will ask for her opinion if you need it.  Be gentle but firm I am sure after than your relationship with her will pick up.

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